The Nature of Success

The other day I was reading an alumni magazine and catching up on what various people were up to. In such a publication one expects to read only about the good things that happen, such as promotions, marriages and the like so if one is looking to enjoy a bit of schadenfreude, one is usually looking in the wrong place (a great idea for a website, though). It is not the best place to look if one is going through a rough patch or is insecure in any way.

The magazine had a little blurb about someone I know quite well, and it got me thinking. To most people, he would seem to have it all--very intelligent, quite physically attractive, a thriving career, a stable home life. Does that make him a success? It would seem so. He does have a couple of serious character flaws which are not known to most people. My question then is, is he still a success if he possesses these flaws although they are not publicly known? Is perception, then, truly reality? If this person is in all other ways is a success, do these character flaws negate the other factors?

Sometimes I think that had he been able to resist some of these behaviors, I would consider him with a lot more respect. When I was getting to know him one of the things I cherished most was his integrity, his sense of honor, and I remember my deep sense of loss when I realized that it was no longer such an important thing to him.

I suppose it comes down to that success is in the eye of the beholder. One way to look at it is- for example, some people would say that having a college degree makes you a success if you compare it to a person who tried but could not graduate...or a person who comes in first in their class compared to someone who comes in 58th? To me, a successful person is one who is well loved and loves well, has a job they don't hate and who can say that even if all else went away, they still had self-respect.