Thoughts on Marriage

The renewed discussion over same sex marriage got me thinking about marriage in general. It surprises many people who deal with me on a daily basis to know that I am all for it, for the most part. The thing is, it has to be for the right reasons between the right people; achieving those two circumstances is the challenging part, and I believe it takes an amazing amount of wisdom and maybe luck to realize when everything is aligned thus.

As simplistic as it may seem, here are some reasons I think don't pass muster: seems like a good idea (as opposed to something that you just have to do), you don't think you'll meet anyone better, you're tired of being single, it will end your money worries, people expect you to have gotten married by now. People you probably may be tempted to marry but probably shouldn't: anyone you've known less than six months, someone who is so unlike you that the novelty is probably what it driving your interest in them, someone who seems like your type but you don't have a spark for and are pretty sure you eventually will have a spark for.


Now, my opinion (and my opinion only) on what marriage should be: (Recall, if you will, that I do enjoy writing fiction so that may account for some of these notions) When you are with someone and you realize you are so much happier with them than without; that you trust them with your life, your future and your heart. You trust them to put you ahead of anyone else, including their own pride. When you feel that missing piece is finally in place. When you feel alive in ways you hadn't ever imagined, unless it was to imagine what it would be like to have carbonation running through your blood. When you are patient in ways and to lengths you are in no other situation. When even though it may never actually be that neat and tidy ending you dream about, you will still feel the same way because you...just do, and to fight against it would be as gainful as arguing with sand.

I suppose because of my experiences both in my own marriage and those of other people I have known, I have a pretty strong feeling about this. But no one ever said there was anything wrong in knowing what you want or asking for it, for that matter. It certainly helps to know what one doesn't want. I'd rather be single forever than in the kind of marriage I was in or in one like some other people I've known. No settling.