Brave Hearts

When I was in Trenton last month, of the highlights of my stay was that very close to the hotel was a used/antique bookstore. To me, that is like hitting the jackpot! I can actually say that Detroit has a redeeming feature because of the John King Used bookstore- several stories of used books where one could literally spend hours and untold dollars finding treasures. (I am not a big fan of Detroit, if only because my least favorite hockey team, with my least favorite hockey traditon, hails from there)

I found a few treasures in Trenton. One book I purchased is called "The Undertaking: Tales from a Dismal Trade," by poet Thomas Lynch. He is a third generation undertaker in Michigan as well as a poet, so I figured I hit pay dirt. It is not that death fascinates me, not really. I guess it is just that I see it as when can finally know the end of a story; in literal terms, I do not like to read a biography of anyone living because you are basically still getting the "draft' version, and I seem to have a peculiar ability to be comforting to bereaved people. I greatly enjoyed Six Feet Under and the reality series on A&E a couple of years ago called Family Plots. Okay... it is just interesting to me.

I read the Lynch book soon after my return. Coincidentally I had just finished Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo, in which the main characters are named Lynch. "The Undertaking," is a collection of essays kind of blown together like a pile of leaves. Some of them drift a little high, some of them are thin on the ground and some are perfect. I read it, gave it a mental mixed thumbs up/down and went on with things. To my surprise (and was kind of spooked out, honestly) the PBS show "Frontline" recently did a program on this very book with some real-life examples of Lynch burying his townspeople and reading from the book (once again, the Tivo proves why the hype is justified).

Most of the townspeople were older and about what one would expect. The relatives were philosophical yet grieving each in their ways. However, there was one set of mourners which stood out: the parents of a two year old born with an unspecified illness, whose prognosis was never encouraging. They knew all along that their time with him was limited and that it would not be an easy time. This is quite obviously heart wrenching just on those simple terms.

The fact that they- especially the mother, Nevada Verrino, were so incredibly open in dealing with this situation for the cameras in amazing. And with what grace and honesty. It was truly one of the most moving things I have ever seen- the sheer bravery of it. A loss of a child is something that one can barely discuss with one's own self - because that is part of admitting it happened and dealing with it-- and for her to do that with such poise is truly inspiring. I do not say that lightly. I am not a sentimental person.

To watch and listen to her describe what she was going through and how it felt- you feel truly honored and educated. I can only imagine how much it must have helped and may help others. One hopes it helped her and her husband to grieve and heal, as much as one can.